This has to be said

**Note: I have no problem with bands that aren't very good, just bands that aren't very good and constantly subject me to their music against my will.

ATTN: "Band" who lives downstairs

Here I sit on Dan's bed, trying desperately to do this homework that I already don't want to do. What are you guys doing? Playing music as an unbelievably inhumane volume level.

I have a few questions:

1) Are you deaf yet? If you have yet to wonder this yourself perhaps it's time to start thinking seriously about the general well-being of your inner ear.
1a) If you aren't deaf yet, I'm curious as to how you have managed to maintain some semblance of hearing. Do you frequently wear earplugs to block the noise? If so I think you should have the courtesy to offer earplugs to the rest of the building. I promise, we can hear you very well and earplugs would really help with that problem.

2) Do you ever have any homework? It seems like all the times I have normally plotted in my weekly schedule to sit down and get some honest work done (let's forget the fact that most of this time is spent procrastinating) you seem to be playing you "music." I know you attend classes, I have heard you speak about these classes you go to when you smoke on the porch below me. Please, if you are skilled enough to be completing said homework AND play "music" this much you have to share with me your secrets of efficiency.
2a) (an addendum): You may have noticed I put music in quotation marks here. This is to indicate my decided separation between what I call music, and what you are playing.

3) Did you really think that "House of the Rising Sun" needed to be covered by what sounds like an acid punk band?
3a) No but seriously, did you?

4) Is this musical venture of yours in the pursuit of a career or simply the happiness and joy of playing? I respect both, but I really want to make sure that no one has encouraged the former of these two as a viable option for your futures.

5) How many songs do you actually play together? I can safely say I have only counted 6 in the rotation, and you certainly play those 6 often. It's quite possible though that after this long the grinding guitar chords and pounding drum beats all just kind of blend together in a cacophony of noise...indistinguishable to a third party listener. If this is the case, again see my suggestion above about keeping whatever day jobs you've managed to acquire.

6) Do you really need those practice hours after 3am? I know it's a Saturday, and I swear I'm not a huge square but really...it doesn't seem to be helping at all anyway so maybe we can just keep it to the disruptions during normal daylight hours?

7) Are you familiar with the concept of a practice space? Most musicians like to keep these separate from their living rooms, even going so far as to rent these spaces in soundproof buildings that are specifically designed for that purpose! It's incredibly clever of someone to think of using a space like this, perhaps you can too?

A polite and timely response to these questions would be greatly appreciated.

Best,

Me