Some words of wisdom

Here are some words of wisdom that I've extracted from many (recent) conversations with friends and mixed company.

1. Before actually attempting to do laundry, one must complain about it insufferably until the mind is ready to tackle said task.

Row: I have to do laundry.
Sam: I know, you've told me.
Row: I have? How many times?
Sam: All week, Row.
Row: I think I'm psyching myself into it.

2. Regarding perishables: If you don't remember buying it, it's probably time to throw it away.

Holding up a solid black shape in plastic
Sam: Guess what this is?
TChenk: A banana?
Sam: Which is worse, the fact that it's actually a banana or the unsettling reality that you knew what it was from all the way over there on the couch?

3. The internet is dangerous.

TChenk: It's midnight? What the hell I was going to do work!
Sam: What were you doing all this time!
TChenk: Stumble?

4. DVR is dangerous.

Sam: Okay, so we've gotten through the first 16 episodes from last weeks Degrassi marathon but I can't tell which of these Food Network shows we've watched.
Row: It's okay we can just watch them again.
TChenk: It's midnight? What the hell I was going to do work!

5. You don't need a dining room table.

This isn't so much one isolated conversation, but rather the fact that we moved in last September and still have not purchased a dining room table.
Row: We don't have a dining room table.
Sam: We don't need one!

6. People don't always say what they mean.

Sam: (to the young man at the door) Yeah, I had a great time too. I'll call you soon! Bye!
Row: I thought he was the one who breathed loudly.
Sam: He does.
Row: I thought you said you'd pull your hair out if you ever talked to him again.
Sam: I would.
Row: So when you said you'd call him?
Sam: I won't.